Dear Diary,

Last night I had a conversation regarding kids and when I should have them. I was told that I should have all my kids by the age of 32. I kind of agreed because I expected to have all my kids by 30, but time waits for no one and I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20. I currently have zero kids with no sperm donor in sight. I say sperm donor because when I mentioned to my family that I don’t see how I’ll be able to have all my kids by 32 they said I need to start now. I have no prospects and likelihood of me finding one to start having babies by 2018 is impossible to me. Not because I can’t find someone, but I’m definitely not having kids with a dude I’ve known for less than year. This conversation sparked a huge debate in my mind and brought me to the biggest questions I have for people who know they’ll be together forever and those who know who they want to be with forever.

I never understood people who claimed a person as the one, but never took steps to making that person theirs. They used excuses like timing, which makes a lot of sense, but never considered why the timing was off. They preferred to use that time to get to know other people and build a foundation with someone else until it shattered in their face.

The amount of times I’ve heard someone say he’s the one or she’s the one, but sat back and let them figure shit out on their own is unbelievable. Maybe I’m too much of a romantic. I always thought if I found the one I’d do anything to be with that person even if it meant just being friends until they were ready. Sounds silly I know, but why would I want someone else knowing the person for me is out there. I know for some people they tried being with the person they claim to be the one, but I don’t think it should be so hard. Nothing in life is easy, but if you know that person is the one shouldn’t they know too? Or are they blinded by their demons they can’t see what you see? How does someone know they are meant to be with someone anyway? We always think we’ve found the one until that person proves otherwise. In other instances people grow to love someone. If there are people out there that know that there is one specific person for them, why are there people who can’t find anyone (like me) or end up with the wrong person for so long (divorce rates)?

I believe that you could get to know someone or in your heart you know that there is one specific person that can alter how you love and receive love. I just don’t understand how someone could hold onto that information and not act on it without being distracted by other prospects. With that being said, I think its amazing when I hear stories about a couple who have been together for so long and still remain positive and in love. Especially when one or the other knew from the beginning that their significant other would be the one.

Personally, I thought for a long time that I knew who I’d spend my life with. Shit, I even waited around to see if things would work out. I made attempts to see if it would go somewhere, but it never did. I was young and I grew up. I’ve had friends experience the same thing, but they were proven wrong and realized that sometimes people are in our lives to teach us something, nothing more.

I saw this video on Facebook about this dude that proposed to his pregnant girlfriend. In the video he explains that he had no idea who she was, but he saw her in a picture with one of his friends and knew from then that she would be his wife. I’m a sucker for romance so when I saw that it brought me to tears. This guy did not hold back, he knew what he wanted and worked towards building a relationship with this woman. She may not have known from the jump, but she stayed and worked towards a relationship with him.

If you’re out there and you know who you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, please act on it. I hardly ever see woman say I know he’s the one and actually believe it, but when I have they always act on it. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn’t. I’ve heard men say it about women and only few act on it with honesty. In an era where pleasing your peers is more important than pleasing your loved ones and our own hearts, I hope we can get back to the basics and acknowledge that success is very important, but what is success without loved ones?

At the end of the day, no matter how much of an introvert I am, and sometimes anti-social, HUMANS NEED HUMANS to survive. I may be single and childless for now, and I may not have all my kids by the age of 32, but I’m hopeful. He will come along one day unexpectedly and I’ll be ready. For all you singles out there or even those of you in the wrong relationship, don’t fret.. they’re on their way.

~ SCREAM